OK so I have signed up for the lakeland 50 on 04/10/11 after much self doubt and wondering if it would be worth it. A really good friend who has similar health problems to me has also signed up, there lies a problem for my head; they are a much better runner than me, quiet good at training; managed to stick with the running club, is training on the fells, doing cross country and I admire how they cope.
So I think (I know its not logical) they will absolutely finish hours ahead of me. Am I competing with a friend NO !!! but for me I introduce friends to events and then find I'm lagging behind again, this I hasten to add is a mind set of someone with depression, we can be very good at putting ourselves down, then again I have seen many women who start out on a running journey also put themselves down and lack confidence, WHY do we do this Girls (and boys)?
I was determined that signing on the dotted line for the 50 would give me the impetus to train and to try to get my training on a more regular basis. I tend to be an inconsistent trainer, in my head I am training like Paula Radcliffe in reality at the moment I manage to get a BMF (British Military Fitness) training session in and a 5k per week. Mileage what mileage? I tell myself I need some strength training -will go to the gym, long runs on Sunday, and loose some weight guess what all that will start on Monday as well.
Each week I think I will catch up with work; (I am now self employed and can manage my health better working from home) and then I will feel a bit better, then I will really no really get down to some serious training starting on Monday, I sound like a member of diet club ! Monday arrives what happens someone has stolen my motivation - was completing the 50 in 2009 in my imagination I ask myself?
So training which was supposed to have started in ernest in October looks a little thin (that is paper thin) on the ground. I am really struggling to step foot out of the door. I am forcing myself to BMF because at least I meet a friendly face and the instructors get you through the session and we have a laugh as well. At the moment there is a definite block in my mind for getting the running shoes on, when I do I beat myself up on how crap I am running - god this is exhausting.lol
When I chat to people I am so enthusiastic about long distance events they think I am mad in that "wow your mad - I couldn't so that" sort of way. I must at times in my mission to encourage all to "have a go, go on you know you want to" seem like I've been there done that; I'm not a big headed I still just can't believe I can jog on hill and the buzz you get. So not the start I wanted for the big 50 training plan - but I will start on MONDAY.
October Training Summary
Week 1: 1st - 9th Training miles 5
BMF sessions 1
Race miles 18 Coniston trail race (2nd) Reservoir Jogs in
Glossop (9th) both 9 miles
Week 2:10th -16th Training miles 15
BMF sessions 0 (away in Wales)
Week 3:17th - 23rd Training miles 12.5
BMF sessions 1
Week 4:24th - 30th Training miles 11
BMF sessions 1
Sleepless Nights: lost count .